Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Unwanted child…


Life is not easy, I know it from the day I born when no one had visited the hospital to welcome me … No one came to take me home or to sign in the hospital formalities …  Mom was also upset on me born as a girl.. Dad dint even turned to see my face because dad had a fight with mom when she did not support the family decision to abort me … other family members did not turn up as I was born as a girl n there was a huge fight in the family… Finally after 2 days I went back to a my I saw a big joint family (My grandmother, 2 uncle, 3 aunties, a brother, dad and mom). I was happy to see so many people at the house, they came to see me but no was happy ..



Day 4 in the world and my grandmother gave me poison to kill me because they thought I am just an burden, I am not going to give any profit to them. They have to give more dowry on my wedding as I am dark … they were not ready to accept me in any cost. ( and the only reason is to born aa a girl).My mom somehow managed to take me hospitalized I was saved, again on day 21st day on my naming ceremony I was admitted to hospital for few days … there I start my journey of fighting.. And that continues..


I am stubborn, arrogant and don’t listen to people. I do what I want to do.. Yes that’s how I was .. When u get no love and affection from anyone.. This is how a child behaves right?? My brother was getting attention, I was not..I was always being neglected by my family.... No bed time story, no one was playing with me or taking me to their lap .. And as soon as I turn 2 , dad left our room and start staying with grandmother.  From than mom start blaming me for their separation . I was not understanding the difference.. For me anyway dad is in the same house what’s wrong in it… Y everyone is blaming me… I made a friend that time.. Buri, my first friend.. She use to come to our home with her dad .. and we use to play .. I was enjoying my childhood, I got someone to play with me yehhhh… after few days she stop coming .. And then I got to know that her entire family died in a fire accident. I was not sure what dead means by then … I was still waiting for her to come home … 


And then when I am tired waiting I start searching new friend in my area… I was staying in a very very small village.. Where girls don’t go to school and most of the girl being treated same.. But my family was the horrible one. But I met few new people , I was quite a cute baby, I use to mix with everyone.. I forcefully use to sit on every aunties Lap , I force them to love me , pampered me .. and slowly slowly I start getting attention … whole day I use to roam around my areas and talk to people who love me and start eating at their home , enjoy, play … I am getting the attention I was expecting from my family… But I found a way to stay happy … I start avoiding people who doesn’t love me and spending time with those who loves me …  


Then I saw my brother going to school near my home. I was quite interested looking at him with a bag, water bottle, tiffin box, books ..  one final day I carry some news paper and went to his school. Next day news paper and with some water bottle. Everyday I start following my brother and one final day that teacher calls my mom and suggests me to get admitted. I was 2:5 then.. And we don’t have any UKG, nursery in my school, direct slandered 1, I was too young to get admitted.. so they asked me to wait, but I said to stubborn, I continue to go to his school and stand outside for hours. But one of my neighbor gave 3 rs to the school people and request me to take admission. I was back home like a happy Kid after achieving my first success.

I was going to school by wearing my brothers dress, My tinny mind was stuck somewhere thinking that girl is something people hate.. I will not have friends if I am a girl.. I wanted to be like my brothers who has so many friends in the school. Initially I was acting like a boy then when teacher scholled me I start wearing my cloths . Everyday I use to fight , I remember sitting in the first bench and asking everyone to sit on other benches even where there is place to sit.. I use to tell them I am special , my brother is a very senior student and I will complain if any one sits here in the first bench. I was kind of Don there. Only my friends have rights to sit in the first bench. And guess what I start having friends .. 

PS: I am 30 now and guess what my friends searched me in FB and they r in my connection now .. My first bench friends .. 

Life was quite happy happy then until one of my class met Asha (who was senior though ) missing and after few days got to know that she is been sold by her dad , and another friend Uma met with an accident and died. Was upset for few days but by then I knw only thing there is no use of waiting for them , they are not going to come, like Buri never did. So my happy like continues with other friends …  And the funny part u know I decided to be like my Maths teacher. Yes my first carrier plan was to be  a  TEACHER. J I use to come in 1- 3 rank always in school. I was the naughty but studious in school.... :)